I have always been a lover of adventure, but I only ever experienced it vicariously through books or movies. Before joining Outdoor Leadership Training, the thought of being out in the wilderness was something I couldn’t even fathom. I always had depression and low confidence, especially when it came to my physical abilities, but my teachers and friends who were a part of the club encouraged me to give it a chance. I went on our first trip to Death Valley this last October and found a new passion. I realized that when I was in nature, I could be free from my insecurities and take things at my own pace. I got to explore canyons and craters that I otherwise would have only seen in my dreams. I was pushed completely out of my comfort zone, but found that that was exactly where I needed to be. Because of the support that I felt from this community, I was able to take on leadership positions despite my being far less physically capable than others in the group. I was constantly out of breath, but we all had smiles on our faces. Only weeks later, our next trip was around the corner. Just days before we were to leave on an 18 mile backpacking trip (my first backpacking experience EVER), my home life was a wreck. My parents had made their separation official, my dad’s anger issues were out of control, I had been hit, screamed at, and pushed to the ground, and my brother’s drinking was beginning to get out of control. The day before bag check, I came home to a trail of blood along the wall and police sirens. My brother had gotten into a drunk fight with my dad. I remember packing and thinking that I wasn’t strong enough to do this trip, but that I had to leave somehow.
We woke up after a night of hiking and started packing our bags to make it to the peak of Mount San Gorgonio. Within the first mile I felt my lungs burning and my head spinning. I broke down in tears saying that I couldn’t do it and that I needed to turn back. I explained to the adult leaders and some of my peers in the back of the group what I had been going through and how I just needed to be alone and cry, but they said that we needed to stay together for our own safety. They let me cry, but pushed me to keep stepping. They talked to me about politics, philosophy and anything that came to mind to keep my mind off of the pain and as I got closer and closer to the peak, I realized more and more how strong I was. That weekend I hiked 18 miles, up and down 6,000 feet of elevation. I came back feeling like I could do anything.
Since that day, I promised myself that I would do everything I could to create my own journey instead of living through others vicariously, so I have made this club a priority. I attend weekly meetings, take advantage of every learning opportunity whether it be map reading, cooking, or just working out, and I plan to take on the final challenge of planning/leading a full trip by May. Every single trip that I go on, I see myself climb literal and metaphorical mountains. The support that I have received from everyone in this club made me want to be able to do the same for them. It has opened me up to a world that I had always felt distanced from and reconnected me with nature. In OLT, we each are working to become the best versions of ourselves. It's amazing to see how much we can achieve when we just keep stepping forward.
Me in Death Valley (or as I call it, "Egypt") hiking to the tallest sand dune so I can run down it really fast and laugh really hard